The Seventh Sense

Well, Okay. But Don't We All?

Michael Jackson wants a 50-foot statue of himself that shoots lasers from the eyes.

Photo Phunnies: Nancy Pelosi and George Bush

Photos by Reuters Jason Reed.

Chocolate Jesus Angers Religious Right

Can't say I'm surprised.  Background on the giant chocolate Jesus in my earlier post from yesterday.

The Catholic League is upset, not only because Jesus is chocolate, but also because he has chocolate genetalia.  From their press release:

NAKED JESUS—GENITALS EXPOSED—CRUCIFIED

From April 1 to April 7, the Roger Smith Lab Gallery at the Roger Smith Hotel in New York City will display a 6-foot tall anatomically correct sculpture of Jesus in milk chocolate; the figure is depicted as crucified.  Artist Cosimo Cavallaro titles his work “My Sweet Lord.”  A picture is available on the Internet.  (Click here.)

“As I’ve said many times before, Lent is the season for non-believers to sow seeds of doubt about Jesus."

Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Lent is the season for non-believers to sow seeds of doubt about Jesus?  Really?

“All those involved are lucky that angry Christians don’t react the way extremist Muslims do when they’re offended—otherwise they may have more than their heads cut off. James Knowles, President and CEO of the Roger Smith Hotel (interestingly, he also calls himself Artist-in-Residence), should be especially grateful. And if he tries to spin this as reverential, then he should substitute Muhammad for Jesus and display him during Ramadan."

Is it me or does it seem that the Catholic League president William Donahue is a little, er, jealous of extremist Muslims and their head-chopping behavior?

It just strikes me as a little odd:  "Be grateful we won't cut off your heads like them Muslims.  We WANT to, but our decency prevents us from doing that."

And, now that Donohue says that the Chocolate Jesus artist (Cosimo Cavallaro) wants people to show up and take a bite of His Chocolatey Goodness, his eyes have actually popped out of his head:

"The Roger Smith Hotel will rue the day it sought to declare war on Christian sensibilities"

Gee, what was it the Bible says about pride?

UPDATE:  The eating festival has been "postponed".

More Brownies, Anyone?

It's really amazing who the Bush people got to fill government positions.  Horse show judges as head of FEMA?  That was just the tip of the iceburg:

The Washington Post reports today on another loyal Bushie: Julie MacDonald, deputy assistant secretary for fish and wildlife and parks. The Interior Department's inspector general has been looking into her actions for a few months and issued his report yesterday:

The IG noted that MacDonald "admitted that her degree is in civil engineering and that she has no formal educational background in natural sciences" but repeatedly instructed Fish and Wildlife scientists to change their recommendations on identifying "critical habitats," despite her lack of expertise.

At one point, according to Fish and Wildlife Service Director H. Dale Hall, MacDonald tangled with field personnel over designating habitat for the endangered Southwestern willow flycatcher, a bird whose range is from Arizona to New Mexico and Southern California. When scientists wrote that the bird had a "nesting range" of 2.1 miles, MacDonald told field personnel to change the number to 1.8 miles. Hall, a wildlife biologist who told the IG he had had a "running battle" with MacDonald, said she did not want the range to extend to California because her husband had a family ranch there.

Thanks For Nothing, TJ Maxx

It's hard to sort the techno-economic gobbledygook, but the bottom line is this: If you used your credit card at TJ Maxx or Marshall's, changes are pretty good that hackers have your credit/debit card number:

At least 45.7 million credit and debit card numbers were stolen by hackers who accessed the computer systems at the TJX Cos. [parent company of TJ Maxx and Marshalls] at its headquarters in Framingham and in the United Kingdom over a period of several years, making it the biggest breach of personal data ever reported, according to security specialists.

While details are still sketchy, TJX said unauthorized software placed on its computer systems stole at least 100 files containing data on millions of accounts from systems that process and store transaction information in Framingham and Watford, United Kingdom. Moreover, TJX believes the hackers last year had the capability to steal payment card data from its Framingham system as transactions were being approved. Even the files TJX tried to protect through encryption may have been compromised because the company believes the hackers had access to the decryption tool.

"It's the biggest card heist ever," said Avivah Litan of technology consulting firm Gartner Inc. " It's done considerable damage."

***

TJX believes its systems were first accessed in July 2005 and on subsequent dates in 2005 and from mid-May 2006 to mid-January 2007. No customer data was stolen after Dec. 18, 2006.

Book-A-Minute

Yesterday was Movie-A-Minute; today is Book-A-Minute.  Some examples:

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

Ebenezer Scrooge

Bah, humbug. You'll work thirty-eight hours on Christmas Day, keep the heat at five degrees, and like it.

Ghost of Jacob Marley

Ebenezer Scrooge, three ghosts of Christmas will come and tell you you're mean.

Three Ghosts of Christmas

You're mean.

Ebenezer Scrooge

At last, I have seen the light. Let's dance in the streets. Have some money.

THE END

TAMING OF THE SHREW

Katharina

Spit. Hiss.

Petruchio

Shut your mouth before I hit you.

Katharina

I can be civilized now that a man has bossed me around. I love you madly, Petruchio.

THE END

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

(Charlie gets a TON of Willy Wonka chocolate bars.)

Charlie

Hooray. I'm an instant winner.

Willy Wonka

Hi kids. Four of you will undergo severe physiological distress that in the real world would get me sued, and one will be picked to be the Special One.

(Charlie gets picked.)

THE END

ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN

Someone

Alas. Something is wrong.

Encyclopedia Brown

Never fear. I will solve the mystery by employing my repertoire of obscure facts as a thinly disguised device for teaching kids educational information.

(He does.)

THE END

Sampson Is Screwing Gonzales

I can't watch it live (here's a nice rundown from US News), but the updates I get are pretty cool:

11:37 Update: Schumer's up now for questioning. He wants to know about Gonzales' statements about the process.

Sampson says that there were repeated discussions about the firings, starting in January 2005 through the firings. "I spoke with him every day," Sampson said.

Asked about the November 27 meeting about the firings, Sampson said that Gonzales was present and that he did speak, but that "I don't remember the meeting clearly."

Now we're on to Gonzales' statement that Sampson did not share information about the firing process with senior DoJ officials who subsequently testified to Congress. " I was very open and collaborative in the process," Sampson said. When asked specifically whether Sampson had shared information with the two DoJ officials who testified falsely to Congress about the process, Will Moschella and Paul McNulty, Sampson said that he had.

Schumer: "So the Attorney General's statement is false. How can it not be?" It sounds like that Sampson was about to repeat his line that it was something that wasn't deemed important (the White House involvement in the firing plan), but Schumer cuts him off.

11:44 Update: Schumer's on to the next inaccurate statement, by DoJ spokesperson Tasia Scolinos on March 24 that the AG "did not participate" in the process to select the U.S. attorneyys to be fired. Sampson admits that wasn't an accurate statement.

From E&P:

Specter asked about Attorney General Gonzales' "candor" in saying earlier this month that he was not a part of any discussions on the firings. He asked about the November 27, 2006 meeting "where there were discussions" and Gonzales allegedly attended. Was Gonzales' statement about taking part in no discussions accurate?

"I don't think it's accurate," Sampson said. "He recently clarified it. But he was present at the November 27 meeting."

"So he was involved in discussions in contrast to his statement" this month? Specter asked.

"Yes." Sampson replied.

Sen. Charles Schumer then asked about Gonzales also claiming that he saw no documents on this matter.

Sampson replied: "I don't think it's entirely accurate."

Schumer: "There was repeated discussions??

Sampson: "Yes...at least five."

Schumer then asked if Gonzales was truthful in saying Sampson's information on the firings was not shared within the depaartment.

Sampson: "I shared information with whoever asked."

Schumer: "So the Attorney General's statement is false?"

Sampson: "I don't think it is accurate."

UPDATE:

Google Maps Tells Me To Jump In The Ocean

So, check it out. I asked directions from Google Maps -- how to get from Winston-Salem, NC to London, England.

I'm told to drive up the East Coast and take the Mass Turnpike into Boston.  Then:

23.  Take exit 24 A-B-C on the left toward I-93 N/Concord NH/S Station/I-93 S/Quuncy [0.4 mi]

24.  Merge onto Atlantic Ave. [0.8 mi]

25.  Turn right at Central St [0.1 mi]

26.  Turn right at Long Wharf [0.1 mi]

27.  Swim across the Atlantic Ocean [3,462 mi]

Yup.  Apparently Google thinks I'm going to swim it!

And not only are they having me swim the Atlantic, but do they plop me off on the western side of England, which is closer to the US?  Hell, no.  They're making swim to north of France (Amiens, I believe), adding a couple hundred more miles to my tired arms.  From there, I ttake the Chunnel.

It's even funnier when you look at the map.

P.S.:  And apparently, Google Maps thinks I can swim across the ocean in 29 days.

My Sweet Lord

Actually, it makes more sense than chocolate easter bunnies:

Man cannot live on bread alone, but if he were to consume Cosimo Cavallaro's newest creation he could live off of Jesus -- for approximately eight months. An oddball artist known for his "eclectic" forms of expression, Cavallaro's latest contribution to culture is a six-foot tall, anatomically-correct milk-chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ. His confectionary Christ is made with more than 200 pounds of chocolate, containing approximately 480,000 calories.

Movie-In-A-Minute

Selections from the Movie-A-Minute website:

THE SIXTH SENSE

Haley Joel Osment

I see dead people.

Bruce Willis

Try talking to them.

Haley Joel Osment

It worked.

THE END

BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI

Sessue Hayakawa

Build a bridge.

Alec Guinness

Only if you ask nicely.

(Alec Guinness helps the BRITISH by building a BRIDGE for the JAPANESE.)

Alec Guinness

What have I done?

(Everything blows UP, and everyone DIES.)

James Donald

Madness madness madness.

(War is bad.)

THE END

TITANIC

Leonardo DiCaprio

Your social class is stuffy. Let's dance with the ship's rats and have fun.

Kate Winslet

You have captured my heart. Let's run around the ship and giggle.

(The ship SINKS.)

Leonardo DiCaprio

Never let go.

Kate Winslet

I promise. (lets go)

THE END

TWELVE ANGRY MEN

Jurors

He's guilty.

Henry Fonda

Wait, let's discuss this.

Jurors

Thank you, Henry Fonda, for teaching us the value of rational thought.

THE END